Archive for August, 2017

179 – I Am One of Their Ascendants

Tuesday, August 15th, 2017

The way I think, the way I speak, the way I breathe, the way I walk, the way I love, the way my body is organized, the way I understand and perceive Reality, the way I produce the energy to power my constant transformation, all are the result of the ongoing evolutionary process in which I am embedded; the ascent of an amazing species that, amid a relatively propitious period in the planet’s own evolution, has populated every inhabitable niche on the surface of the earth, and was born to the awareness of self-awareness.

Through this ascent, the human brain has come to develop the complex neuronal connectivity that endows me with a high degree of intelligence, dexterity, a level of inquisitiveness rare in Nature, and the awareness of my own awareness.

But the insecurity, fear, trauma, abuse of a dysfunctional upbringing, and the oppression of an educational system heavily tilted towards dogma and indoctrination to control the young, vulnerable mind, stunted the development of my intelligence to be able to understand and perceive the world that exists beyond the limitations of my organic senses. The combination of these two harmful factors forced the natural defenses of my body to numb not only my feelings, but also my empathy; the wisdom of Nature to halt the complete annihilation of my rebel mind, allowed me to feel nothing, to care for nothing. It has taken me a lifetime to get my feelings back, to awaken my compassion.

It is heartbreaking to realize that I am not an exemption, that the history of my upbringing is accepted as ‘normal’ in most of our cultures.

But the force of a legacy passed along in the lessons of flourishing civilizations and the wisdom of great thinkers, eventually overcame the traumatic events of my upbringing, awakening in me an insatiable need to understand what I am.

I was born with the soul of a rebel, the hunger of a questing mind, the capacity to perceive patterns that sustain the creative order of Nature. And so in my quiet ways I fought any so called ‘authority’ wanting to dictate, oftentimes forcefully, the way I think, live, love, and understand Reality. And so I devoured books, especially those that opened my mind to new horizons and dared question the status quo. And so I learned to love science, philosophy, poetry, music, especially classical music, because they fed my uncanny capacity to perceive balance and beauty out the chaotic world we have created.

My rebelliousness, the hunger of my mind, my capacity to perceive patterns, have taken me, as someone said, to places I would not know how to get to. They have helped me feel my participation in the magnificent order, equilibrium, and astonishing beauty of our Universe; they have helped me clearly see that I could not have attained a highly evolved level of perception without the heritage of innumerable generations of thinkers, lovers, dreamers, rebels, pioneers, wanderers, visionaries, untiringly seeking knowledge through the mysteries of the mind, tenaciously wanting to unravel the Source that engenders the boundless creativity and beauty of the evolutionary process we call Life.

I am one of their ascendants.

Note: New posts are usually published on the 1st and 15th of the month. To subscribe to the Blog, click on the RSS feeder (orange icon) on the left column of the Home page, down below the Archives.

178 –A Touch of Wonder …

Tuesday, August 1st, 2017

One day, reading in the living room I hear a thump in the enclosed patio. I run out afraid a bird has hit a window. I am right. A little hummingbird lays unconscious on the cement floor just outside the patio.

I carefully pick it up, weightless and limp but alive; it is breathing. I hold it in the palm of my hand for what seems a long time. Then, abruptly, it opens its eyes … did not move … just lay there, catching its breath.

It fluffs its feathers as if shaking off whatever knocked it down, and straightens up. I can feel its tiny feet as it stands on my hand, looking around, checking things out.

And then … and then … the wonder:

The little hummingbird flies up like a tiny helicopter to the level of my face, and hovers there, staring straight into my eyes, looking at me with those tiny black beads, one first, then the other, as if wanting to remember.

I cannot help but smile; I am making eye contact with a tiny miracle.

Then it takes off, like a little jet plane, out of sight in seconds, leaving me awestruck.

I take a deep breath realizing I hadn’t been breathing. This little miracle took my breath away, making me feel the joy of being alive with the intensity of a moment I will never forget.

Moments like this compensate, and make me forget … not erase … the moments – especially those that hurt others –  I created with my stupidity and my mistakes when I was trying to survive; learning that Life is not always wonderful, but that it is constantly offering me its wonders.

Note: New posts are usually published on the 1st and 15th of the month. To subscribe to the Blog, click on the RSS feeder (orange icon) on the left column of the Home page, down below the Archives.